And I'm not talking about the US Economy. I'm talking about my health. Turns out those calcium blockers for my cluster headaches had a nice side-effect: CLINICAL DEPRESSION. On the 1-month mark of taking the medication I started feeling so down I'd just sleep for hours and not feel like working or doing anything at all. I was almost a vegetable. This ain't just the normal blues either. It was real f---ing depression and now I know what the real thing is like. Terrible.

Well now that I'm off the meds and my headaches have gone gone away (hopefully wont return for at least another half a decade) I can try to get back to 'normalisation'. That is hard of course.

One thing is that school is almost starting. Reality set in -- sure I might be getting a new macbook pro on the second month of classes but then again I have to make sure I'm a 'good' teacher and do those computer class handouts like I kinda planned.

Unfortunately I feel more compelled to just draw and browse forums sometimes.

OK. then there are the lesson plans that need to be finished else my raise won't be as much as it should be. Grrr.. Fooking thing is taking ages and is SO boring to rewrite everything I've taught! I've finished my computer lesson plans yeah... that was a shitload of stuff. At least if I get to speed on this year's handouts I won't need to do those lesson plans again, just add the handouts to them. I'm not slacking off either -- I teach the same thing every year and I constantly improve my methods, though the plans remain the same on paper. Yes, I didn't do these plans on paper for last year.

So yeah. RIght now I'm just too tired to cope with all the pressure. Perhaps the depression is still lingering. The only thing that keeps me sane seems to be work. I think the more I work in school, the more I get pepped up. Nothing beats shouting off your voice in class over all the noise... must be therapy.

Then there's Colin McRae Rally for mac. I even decided to get a G25 "wheel-of-wheels" for it. Fecking great. I dunno what's worse though -- the fact that it eats my time and every time I smell the real leather of the G25 wheel I want to play; or the fact that it's so frustrating trying to finish laps in under 3 minutes... Fook, some die hard people have finished in just a little over 2 minutes in some tracks. Which reminds me... have to look up what the steering is really like in a rally car...